can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
