Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
