hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
