butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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