were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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