My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Randomize
