I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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