Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
