69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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