Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
