Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
