We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We were destined to go to rehab together
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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