the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i out mim tonsoeep
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