I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
