I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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