umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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