how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
