My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
