OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize