I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
