I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
They have beer where we have blood.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
