The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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