The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
operation harelip BJ is a go
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
