at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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