What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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