and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
