Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize