She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
