Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
