I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
