oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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