So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
