Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
True strength comes from lack of pants
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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