This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
