2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Are we in a gay sports bar?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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