you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
COCAINE IS GR8
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
