The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
