im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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