i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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