this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
