At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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