I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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