i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
