remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize