so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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