I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
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under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
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Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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