sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
