Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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