your thong is hanging out like whoa
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
