we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
