dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
operation harelip BJ is a go
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
