we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
