Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
