Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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