it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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