Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
