I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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