Your mouth is God's brothel.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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