I hate your face
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
