okay pat passed out under dana's car
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
