mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
