if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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