I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
