Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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