So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
